Taming the Unruly! We’ve all been there. We’re attending a meeting and one participant has an opinion on everything and he/she feels the need to share all their opinions. As the facilitator, this is frustrating and you sense that you’ll lose the audience if you don’t turn things around. There are 3 tactics I use to tame the unruly and I use them in a specific order.
The first tactic is nonverbal. You can use your eyes and/or body position to accomplish this. If you stop making eye contact with the over-opinionated participant, that can help shut down the conversation. Many of us wait for eye contact before jumping into a conversation, so by averting your eyes you can eliminate the nonverbal invitation to speak.
You can also do a slight turn of your body away from the person. If you are walking around the room, you can do this by selecting where you stand that keeps that person out of your direct line of sight. The trick with both of these nonverbal tactics is that you don’t want to alienate those attendees who sit near that person, so be sure to still engage those members of the audience. Not everyone reads social cues, so if the over-opinionated participant doesn’t receive the nonverbal message, then it’s on to the next tactic.
As needed, I’ll transition to calling out the behavior in a kind or humorous way. Your tone of voice and facial expression are important in the delivery of your verbal message. When the person starts speaking again, you can simply say, “Dan, I appreciate your ideas and now I’d like to broaden the perspective by hearing from others”. As soon as you say that, then look around the room for someone else who is willing to jump in or call on someone so there isn’t any downtime. Or you may say, “Dan, I think you’ve reached your quota of great ideas for one day”. The delivery needs to be light and friendly so the audience doesn’t feel that you are scolding.
Lastly, if the over-opinionated participant just keeps going like the Energizing Bunny, then change to a more direct tone and state, “Dan, you’ve given us much to think about today and thank you for your participation. For the remainder of the session, I want to hear from your colleagues”. Ideally, if there is a scheduled break in the session, this can be done privately with the person during the break; however, if there isn’t an opportunity for that then it needs to be done with others present.
Is this uncomfortable? Yes, it is! As the facilitator though, it’s your role to create an engaging experience for all. The audience expects you to take lead and to resolve challenges that occur. They will thank you for stepping up to tame the unruly.